Saturday, February 18, 2012

A Flip Phone In A Smart Phone World

Recently, I was driving somewhere with Mrs. Mynd (of It's My Mind: How Did You Get In Here blog fame). 

Okay, I was driving to a happy hour. Yes, I see the irony that I attend a lot of happy hours and rarely drink.  I need my unwind time, just like everybody else.  Don't judge. 

My phone buzzed to let me know that I had a text from a co-worker who'd had the day off and wanted to know where we would be making the hour happy. Isn't it nice that he wanted to hang with us, even when he wasn't at work that day?  We're that kind of work friendamily.

A definition might help for that last word, right?

Friendamily: A group of friends that you are so close with that they are like your family. 
They wrote the manual on the care and maintenence of you.  They are your "in case of emergency" call.  They know what makes you feel better when you're having a bad day.  I keep a box of Bob's candy canes hidden in my desk for Mrs. Mynd and a pack of  Reese's peanut butter cups chillin' in my fridge for Gertie.  They are the people you celebrate most non-religious holidays with and the people you wish you were with on those holidays when you must be with your actual family.

Squirrel!  I've gotten off track here somehow.  Anywho, we were driving to happy hour, the phone buzzed, and my safety and traffic law conscious passenger refused to let me reply to the text while driving.  Prior to the no texting law, I was a highly proficient texter while driving.  Truth be told, when I don't have a conscientious passenger, I still am.  But, I did have a passenger and for some reason her safety was more important to her than my ability to communicate electronically. Can you believe that? Yes, yes I can.  She wanted to live to celebrate happy hour, Lainey.

Lainey: " I can text and negotiate a traffic circle. 
Why are you so worried?"
So, out of concern for her own safety, Mrs. Mynd grabbed my phone and went to reply to the text for me, something I've frequently done for her while she's driving.  I say she went to because she quickly discovered that she couldn't quite manage texting on my phone.  For you see, my phone is old school.  Keeping up with Joneses, I ain't.  I have an unintelligent flip phone and Mrs. Mynd's phone is a smartiepants.

Here it is: the antique that is keeping me in touch.

On my flip phone, we are still down with T9 (the grandfather of auto correct) and if you aren't down with T9, that's okay.  You can just hit the 7 key four times to get the letter 's'.  Sending a simple four word text had Mrs. Mynd frazzled to the point that she was offering to put me on her family plan just to get me a better phone.

Last night, while at another happy hour with the same friendamily, a guest to the happy hour was monopolizing the conversation.  We are a patient group, but after more than an hour of high volume, potty mouthed conversation (We were getting glares from other bar patrons because our guest had a serious love of the f-word.) the friendamily was texting back and forth plotting how to end the guest's rant or gracefully exit without it looking like a mass exodus.  I was in favor of a napkin gag, but I got vetoed.  My phone was buzzing away as the texts flew and I repeatedly pulled it out to read, laugh, and reply.  In the process, another coworker noticed my flip phone and proceeded to crack on its antiquity.

I'm sorry that my out-dated phone bothers some people.  Oh, wait.  No, I'm not!  I've had a flip phone for years.  In fact, my old flip phone died about a year and a half ago and I was eligible to get a smart phone.  All I had to do was add a data package to my plan.  Instead, I got another flip phone. 

My flip phone doesn't get internet, it doesn't have apps, it can't name that tune if you hold it next to the sound system.  It could probably do some of these things, but I won't let it.  I'm a single girl on a budget and I'm not paying extra for a data plan.  I have internet access at home, at work, and most everywhere else in between.  Case in point, I'm typing this blog using the free wi-fi from the car dealer while waiting for the bad news about my hateful hybrid (See It Ain't Easy Being Green for details). 

My phone has only two purposes: to make/receive calls and to send/receive texts. 
It doesn't need to be smart.

That being said, if anyone wants to get me a smartphone and pay for my data plan, I will graciously accept.  I didn't say smart phones were bad, just not in the budget.

What a lovely gift idea!


  1. Some of us need the extra smart that the smartphone brings. You don't seem to be constrained to that additional need.

    Funny post!

  2. It is not me, but someone else, more suave and Puss in Boots!

    Still funny!

  3. Does this post have a 'title' cause my browser tab is blank...

    1. Yes, it has a title. A Flip Phone In A Smart Phone World. Don't know why you can't see it. Thanks for showing the love with the re-view (see what I did there).

  4. I would like to challenge your definition of Friendamily:
    Lainey's Friendamily: A group of friends that you are so close with that they are like your family.

    I would argue that friendamily is better defined as:
    Friendamily : friend*am*ily [frend-am-uh-lee]

    "The family you create for yourself"
    1.People who create a social unit which loves, supports, and sympathisizes.
    2.Group of people brought together by blood, allied together by a cause, or bonded by social setting.
    3. They are the people you can always come home to. Sometimes they are of the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself

    Love ya!

    1. As it is your word, which I stole from you for the purposes of this blog, I bow to your superior definition(s).