Monday, April 9, 2012

She likes me! She really likes me!

She likes me! She really likes me!
We're having a bit of a Sally Fields moment over here at Lainey's Life Lessons right now. 

As previously mentioned, my honey and I were attending dueling Easter dinners at our respective parents' homes.  I was worried about dinner at his mother's house. I'd had dinner with his parents before and been briefly introduced to his brother and nephew recently, but there were going to be more new faces and I still wasn't feeling confident that my honey's family liked me. At this point, if he were reading over my shoulder, my honey would be telling me I was worried about nothing and that his family loves me. But, he's at work and I am writing while enjoying my last day of spring break. I say "enjoying", but it's laundry day and you know how I feel about that.

The reason I was so worried about this dinner is because of a comment that my honey's mother had made to him.  In passing, his mother had told him that she thought I was "too independent".  When I asked him for clarfication about what she meant, he had nothing.  He didn't know what she meant by "too independent" or what about me she might have been referring to with the comment.  Now, I was raised to believe that independence and being self-sufficient were character traits to be valued.  What could she mean by saying I was "too independent"?

I spent a week worrying about this "too independent" thing.  I asked my BFFs what they thought about the comment.  They speculated that she thought I was too independent because I was single and already a homeowner.  I asked my mother what she thought of the comment.  She thought it was the nicest compliment anyone had ever given her.  After all, my mother was the one who raised me to be independent and now someone felt she had succeeded.  I'm not kidding.  My mother smiled and said, "Well, that's a wonderful compliment!  What's wrong with being independent?".

I think the comment bothered me so much because it wasn't something I could change.  How could I show her I was less independent?  By becoming dependent on someone else?  Not likely to happen.  I get irritated when my honey tries to be chivalrous and open doors for me.  Are my arms broken?  What made you think I couldn't open it for myself?  It's unlikely that I am suddenly going to become a simpering female who needs large amounts of male assistance just to win a mother's approval, especially if it's not even my mother.  But, I did want this mother's approval.  I'm head over heels in love with her son and for some reason it feels important that she like me.

When I shared my concerns with my honey, he said the weirdest thing.  "Babe, she asked me what color your kitchen was!"  Huh?  What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?  I asked him to explain and he did.  My honey's favorite food in the world is his mother's honey-puffed pancakes.  He had told me that I absolutely had to learn how to make them and, like a good girlfriend, I had asked his mom about the recipe.  What does this have to do with the color of my kitchen, you may wonder?  His mother was going to have the recipe framed to hang in my kitchen and she wanted to make sure the matting and frame matched my kitchen's color scheme.  Awww!  She might actually like me.

The final piece of the puzzle came after Easter dinner.  The dinner went well, I thought.  His family held up the start of the Easter Egg Hunt until I arrived.  I had back to back masses at church, one where I was cantoring solo and one where I was singing with my church choir.  My honey's neice has become a fan of mine and announced that she was sitting next to me at dinner.  His mom was taking pictures of the grandkids and snuck a picture or two of us, as well.

His mother and I recently became facebook friends, I assumed so that she could see what kind of person I was based on my postings.  Last night, she posted a couple of pictures of me and my honey.  Her captions told the tale, "My son and his super girlfriend... I am really loving her!"  and "Honey and Lainey (The future Mrs. Honey??)".  Yup, she likes me.


  1. First kudos to your Honey's Mom for being fantastic. I had caught the photos and captions and thought they were adorable.

    Now let's be honest, whose Mother wouldn't like you? In our over a decade long friendship I cannot think of a single mother who doesn't love you.

    Hey little Ms. Independent, Chivalry doesn't shouldn't offend your modern sensibilities. Remember to thank Honey's Mom for raising such a wonderful gent for you to fall in love with and read up on acceptable forms of Chivalry in the Modern Age.